France, Timing, Love, Now

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow know what you truly want to become."

-Steve Jobs

France.

Moving to France, if for a short or long time, has already gifted me with new frames of mind. The last three weeks alone have given me plenty of time to settle out of my 6 hour time difference from Boston and think about my intentions for coming here.

Besides resetting from the health care field a bit, I've been craving new experiences in life. Taking this time as a self-funded sabbatical, I'd really like to enjoy life for a little while and see where keeping an open mind leads me. This upcoming year, I'll be set up in my own studio in Paris. I'll be enriching what I already know about nutrition & wellness through culinary lectures, demonstrations and practicals from Le Cordon Bleu. And I'll be prioritizing even more travel in my every day life.

I am very proud to be taking this next year for myself, because I simultaneously recognize that my time here won't always be enjoyable or easy. Since losing my sister two years ago, and spending the pandemic years caring for others, at times, more than I did myself, I've spent more time reading and soul searching to figure out how I'd truly like to spend this limited time we call life. Uprooting myself from Boston and putting myself out there (ici) on a daily basis is a deeply uncomfortable process. But I'm willing to bet this experience will be well worth the risk, in the end.

In my view, risks boil down to new opportunities or new lessons, depending on how you look at it, and risks are the very thing I'm interested in these days. "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you." And change is good, because change means we're growing, in knowledge and/or in gratitude. My hope is to keep strong and true to this mindset while I'm here.

Timing.

Earlier this summer, I applied to health-related culinary programs at Le Cordon Bleu in Paris. I resigned from a company I'd worked a short time for. And I finally started & completed my chronic health care coaching certification that I'd been putting off.

A few weeks after my resignation, my good friend, Kellie, FaceTimed me from London, inviting me to join her while she was still there. Seeing that she was having a wine night, I joked back that she should sleep on her offer, but she assured me again and again that she meant it. I grew instantly excited and booked myself for London that week.

Our third day together, Kellie and I were treating ourselves to an afternoon high tea at the Royal Lancaster Hotel when I'd picked up my phone to clear out some notifications. It wasn't long before I saw Le Cordon Bleu's name in my inbox, inviting me for an interview — in just two days! As fate would have it, a Eurostar train that I'd booked back in Boston was scheduled to take me from London to Paris the next day — one day before my proposed interview date. The timing of my trip was too good to be true.

I replied to the admissions officer, letting her know that not only was I in Europe, but that I would be arriving in Paris soon and would be happy to meet in person instead, if she'd like. She was delighted! Two days later, I put on the best tourist clothes I had with me: a navy blue summer dress, a pair of medium brown straw wedges, and tiny gold pearl hoop earrings. I straightened my hair in the humidity that was August in France and hoped for the best.

I was kindly invited me for a personal tour of the Paris institute prior to my interview, as well as a joint interview with one of the chefs. I took in the sights of the place.. Students of every nationality and age donning their chef attire, mid-way or finishing their practical of the day, mixtures of chefs and staff leisurely winding in and out on all floors, and bystanding chefs who invitingly chatted with me in French.

I felt for sure that I hadn't sold myself well enough when Chef Philippe Clergue, the head teacher of the Le Grand Diplôme (the most distinguished culinary qualification one could earn), interviewed me. Nonetheless, I was so happy to have been there in person and thought of how amazing it would be to learn there.

Love.

I met Paul in Taiwan, and from there, we traveled through countless cities and towns together in Taiwan, the Netherlands, North America, Belgium, and France in the span of our time together. Throughout our time together, he challenged me to loosen my American mindsets and ways, and enjoy moments as they came. I might never have had the boldness or will to make such a big move overseas at this point in my life, had we never met.

Our relationship taught me the best, but hardest lessons in love and life. It taught me what I want, deserve, and need in a relationship, and as well, what I don't. And our relationship taught me what aspects of myself could use improving too. We had ended things by the time I visited Paris this August, but knowing Paul, that made no difference. He asked his colleague to help cover his shifts so he could see me during my last days here.

The afternoon of my second to last night in Paris, I received an admission proposal from Le Cordon Bleu. Paul had just taken to napping when I'd read the news, resting from the long bus ride he had taken to see me from the Netherlands, and I had just stepped out onto our balcony with a book and stroopwafels in hand. I hesitated just a few seconds before deciding to wake him up with my news, and I'll never forget how happy he was for me, and how happy I was to share that moment with him in person. He was the first person I told.

Paul treated me to my most favorite meal in Paris that night, and it was those moments in person that we had our happiest times. A part of me will always love Paul.

"Chef’s Tasting Menu in 7 Steps" at Nellu

Now.

In a matter of minutes, I'll be moving from the shared Airbnb I've been living in the last three weeks, to my own studio a bit closer to the heart of Paris. Luckily, one of the agencies affiliated with Le Cordon Bleu was able to get me the unit for an early move-in prior to New Years, and I am so looking forward to finally having all my things sprawled out in one place. For a full size kitchen with an oven and dishwasher! — the works out here in Europe...

Though a shared kitchen has made it tough to cook or bake as freely as I'd like to, it's been a nice experience to have met new faces from San Fran, Bulgaria, and Korea and enjoyed Christmas Markets, Christmas Eve, and food & drink nights out together. A quick thank you to my flatmate from Bulgaria for gifting me his book, "Show Your Work!," when I let him know my idea of my blog, and for giving me the encouraging push I needed to get started!

This upcoming year, I'd like to live more boldly and fearlessly than I have before, and to pursue most things outside of my comfort zone.  I intend to say yes to new things that intimidate me, all for the purpose of living and learning in life. I have many ideas and content for future posts — hoping to get more out soon!

Thank you for reading my first post! I likely miss you very much, already!

Please subscribe to receive future posts automatically to your e-mail! 🤍